This feeling... my heart is dying. Emptiness. Loneliness. Nothing. 18 years of my life. I have achieved, nothing. Whatever good i have done, it was not recognized. Whatever bad i have done, it was all scrutinized. As i look back upon my life, everything seemed so well back then, and when i look forward, i see nothing. When i look at myself now, its all a mess. Yes, i hate myself, i hate the world. Why did i become this way? Cause i gave up on myself. Whatever i do now, i don't give my best, or rather i don't care.

They ask me why i have become what i am today. I ask in my heart, how much do you all know of me? I used to try to do whatever their expectations may be, but they were never satisfied. If i did right, it was taken for granted. When i did wrong, it turned the world upside down. I was forever living in others' shadows. I shall do what i like, without care of any consequence. For what can be worse than death? I won't seek death, but if it comes to me, i shall accept it. Call me a coward, but i don't care.

You can't lose what you never had.

Jason is here @ 10:11 PM